Political Pirates
by Angel's Star
Summary: Jack and Will have been sent on an important mission to the year 2008 to eleminate a certain presidential candidate. But when Jack learns he can gain control of much more than a ship, what chaos will he cause to present day America?


A/N: Here it is! The story I've been working on for a while. It's not done yet, but it'll probably end up being kind of short. I hope everybody enjoys it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates, but I own the gypsy and Savannah.

Chapter 1

The night air was still and heavy with moisture. The only sound to be heard was the gentle lapping of the waves on the sand and her quite murmurs. The dim, flickering light of a candle danced on her moist olive skin. Her dark eyes were closed and her hands were set on opposite sides of the table. Foreign words slipped past her lips. Suddenly, she opened her eyes. Jack and Will jumped back in their seats and she met their gaze.

"What you ask for, this…treasure," she mused with a small, coy smile. Her accent caused her to roll her _r_'s. "It is impossible."

"Impossible, you mean, without any further chance of gettin' at it?" Jack asked, trying to give the word 'impossible' another meaning.

She stared at him dully until he glanced away uneasily and only then did she say, "It's impossible without my help. But if you want my help, you will do as I request. Agreed?"

"Aye," Jack replied before Will could speak.

"Then it is settled," she smiled. There was something there neither of them could trust. "What you will do is go forward in time to the year 2008. There will be a man who will win the election for president in America and cause the whole country to fall into chaos. You will go eliminate him and then come back. You will not interfere in that time more than I have requested of you, understand?"

Will took the chance to jump into the conversation. "And what if we don't agree?"

Jack's jumped out of his thoughtful state to quickly say, "But we do! We agree. Just one question. What's a president?"

Will glared at his friend as the woman replied, "A president is like a king. He rules a country."

A gleam came into Jack's eyes that Will recognized and immediately began to dread. But it was too late to back out now. Jack was now standing and asked, "So, since we've got th' rules an' such worked out, how do we go about gettin' t' this 2008 place?"

She smiled her eerie smile and stood and began shuffling through some dirty bottles behind her. Will stood and pulled Jack a few paces away from the woman and hissed, "Jack, I know that look. You're not just doing this for the treasure now are you?"

"What would give you that idea, William?" Jack asked, glancing back at the witch doctor to see what progress she was making in locating the correct bottle.

"We aren't going to be able to stay in that time, remember that!" Will continued. "We're only doing this for your bloody treasure."

Jack turned his eyes back to the other man. "Haven't I already told you that not all treasure is silver and gold?"

"Power. That's all this is about now, isn't it?" He argued, very much not wanting to be dragged into another one of Jack's schemes. "Is that all you think about?"

Jack paused to consider this. "That and rum and women. I like rum."

Will rolled his eyes skyward just as the gypsy woman turned back to them. In her left hand she held a small pouch and with her right hand she was reaching down into it. She pulled out a small handful and began muttering words in another language.

The two men looked at each other. Jack shrugged. Will glared. The woman looked up and brought the powder close to her mouth and blew it onto them. They coughed and sneezed a couple of times, but remained standing. After the initial reaction, Jack asked, "Was that it?"

"Wait…" the gypsy replied, watching them intently.

Suddenly Will fell over backwards. Jack stared down at him. "Oh."

Then Jack fell unconscious too.

--

Jack woke and blinked several times. The light was still somewhat dim, but there seemed to be a small ball of light hovering several feet above his face. He put a hand up over his eyes and squinted at it. Yep, a ball of light floated only a few feet above his head. He knew he was either drunk or had fallen unconscious on the deck of the Pearl. Again.

He sat up and looked around. The room he was in was white and he sat on a royal blue carpet. Not the Black Pearl. As soon as he realized he sat on carpet, he figured the people who owned the place must have been rich to afford carpet so he promptly hopped up and snuck a small vase into his overcoat.

About that time, Will slowly regained consciousness. He squinted at the floating light above him and sat up. "…Jack, what are you doing?"

Jack whirled around and quickly pocketed a piece of paper from off the table. "Nothing."

Will raised an eyebrow. "Sure…. So where are we?"

"Where do ye think, William?" Jack asked as he turned around and shoved a dry-erase marker into his pocket.

"Would you stop taking things?!" Will shouted and stood up. He glanced around the room before continuing, "We need to find this man that's going to win the election and get rid of him so we can get back to our time. This place is really weird."

"Well, lead the way," Jack said, motioning to the closed, wooden door. He watched the other man walk over and open it before grabbing up an empty wine glass and putting that in his pocket as well. "I'm right behind, ye!"

Will stepped through the door and began leading the way down a long hall that was decorated the same as the room they had just been in. There was no one else except for the two pirates, but Jack kept looking over his shoulder every time he snuck something into his pocket.

At the end of the hall, Will grabbed onto the metal door handle and hesitantly twisted it. He put his eye up to the small crack between the partially open door and the door frame. "I…see other people…I think this is where we're supposed to go."

"Well, go!" Jack exclaimed and shoved Will, causing the other man to fall. Jack stepped over his fallen comrade and strode into the next room. Large metal objects stood everywhere, the floor was concrete, and several men wearing suits stood around. "Oy! You there! Where be the president?"

Several of the men turned and gave Jack a disgusted look. "He's in Washington DC, of course."

"Where be th' man runnin' fer president?" Jack asked, rephrasing his question. People in this time were very ignorant.

"You mean the _men_," one of the men in a suit corrected. "They're both up there." He pointed to a large stage.

"Ah!" Jack grinned and began walking out on stage. Several of the men grabbed him and pulled him back. He whirled around quickly, his flying dreadlocks hitting their faces and causing them to let go. Will hurried to his friend and almost simultaneously they pulled out their guns and began hitting the suited men over the head with the butt of their pistols.

"Men are a lot weaker in this time," Will observed as he put his pistol back in his belt. "Well, now wha- Jack? Jack!"

He turned to see his friend sauntering onto the stage. Panic struck him like a load of bricks. He glanced behind him to see the unconscious men in suits lying on the floor and then back onto the stage. What was he supposed to do? Should he follow his probably insane friend out there or should he wait where he was?

"S'cuse me." Jack mumbled just low enough that both men would hear him. "There's someone 'ere t' see ye both."

The two candidates exchanged confused glances before one of the replied, "Tell whoever it is that they'll have to wait."

"It's both yer wives, mates," Jack stated quickly. A look of panic crossed both men's faces and they quickly excused themselves and hurried backstage.

Will watched both men hurry by him before Jack came. "Which one is it?!"

Jack shrugged vaguely. "We'll knock 'em both out and put 'em in a corner somewhere."

Will about strangled his friend. He was sure there was a better way to go about this all than to be seen by all of America. But Jack had hurried after them, giving them false directions to the room he and Will had first been in when they appeared in this time. Will followed close behind.

The man with dark hair opened the door and rushed in, followed by the other candidate. "Where are they?"

"Must've stepped out," Jack replied before knocking one out. Will quickly copied his friend's actions before the other candidate could respond.

"Well, now what?" Will demanded, crossing his arms. "You've got us into this, now get us out!"

The pirate glanced around and spotted another door other than the entrance. "We'll put 'em in there."

He opened the door and began dragging one man by his feet into it. Will sighed in aggravation and did the same with the other man, trying to be more careful than his friend had been. Just as the two pirates had stuffed the two men into the small closet, one began to regain consciousness. He moaned to himself and rubbed the back of his head until Jack slammed the door into his face and knocked him out again.

"Well, that should do it," Jack stated and sauntered back out into the hall.

"Wait, where are you going?" Will asked, hurrying after his friend.

No response.

"Jack?"

Silence.

"Answer me, Jack! It makes me nervous when you're quiet!"

Nothing.

By now the two were back in the room behind the stage and it was beginning to dawn on Will where his friend was going.

"Jack, you can't!"

"'Course I can. There's no rule that says I can't."

"I'm sure there are…"

"Well, you jus' look it up in yer little rule book an' let me know when ya find it."

"Wait!"

But Jack was already out on the stage. Will mentally slapped himself for not grabbing his friend when he could. And while he was mentally slapping himself, he mentally shot Jack for getting them into this whole mess. Thinking it might not be too late to get his friend off the stage before he did something stupid, Will ran out after him.

Years later, history teachers all across America would teach their students about the Fangirlish Squeal that was heard around the world that day.

"Where are the candidates?" One man with a microphone asked.

"They've been detained," Jack replied, giving a poor imitation of an American accent. Will slapped his forehead.

"And you are…?" The same man asked.

"Cap'n Jack Sparrow," he said proudly then motioning randomly at Will, he added, "An' this is William Turner. Due to circumstances beyond their control, both candidates have 'ad to drop out o' the race."

The audience gasped and murmurs began running through the crowd.

"A day before the election?" The man asked skeptically. "I highly doubt it."

"I've got their note 'ere that says it," Jack replied, pulling out a piece of paper from his coat pocket. Will glanced over at it. It was blank. "Says, 'We, th' two candidates have 'ad t' drop out of the election due to circ'mstances beyond our control. We send our regrets through Cap'n Sparrow and the whelp- I mean, William."

"Let me see that," the man stated and stood and began walking to them.

Will quickly rushed to him just as Jack discreetly pulled out the dry erase marker he had stolen earlier.

"What are you doing?" The man asked, trying to step around Will, who was blocking his path and view of Jack.

"I, uh, need a drink of water," Will lied quickly, moving in the man's way once again.

"There's water in the back," the man replied, growing agitated.

"Oh, is there?" The pirate feigned surprise. "What's that over there?"

The man glanced back over his shoulder. "My water. Now if you wouldn't mind, please _move_!"

The man stepped around Will and strode crossly to Jack, who was holding out the piece of paper. The man took it and his eyes scanned the words on the page. He furrowed his brows and handed the note back to Jack.

"I'm afraid they're right," he said and made his way back to his chair. Will inwardly sighed and stepped over to his comrade. "Both of our candidates have had to drop out of the race."

More murmurs from the crowd.

"Jack, now's the time to leave," Will hissed. "We've done what the gypsy asked of us, so let's _go_!"

"Not so fast, William," Jack whispered in response before pushing the other man back and stating loud enough for all to hear, "I'll take th' place of said candidates."

Will furrowed his brows and strained his ears. Did he just hear a squeal?

"Well, there's a couple problems with that statement," the man replied dryly. "We need two people from the two political parties and you're only one man. And the other problem is I'm almost positive you're not an American."

"I can solve both yer problems, mate," Jack stated, leaning casually on the podium. "My friend William 'ere will be on one side an' I'll be on the other. On top o' that, we're both 'Mericans! Isn't that right, William?" Jack added, sending Will a look that said he had better go along with the plan.

Will nodded lamely. "Yes, we're both _American's_."

The man with the microphone opened his mouth to speak, but someone out in the crowd shouted, "Which party are you for, Mr. Sparrow?"

Jack inwardly cringed at the misuse of his title, but answered, "I stand for th' Rum party. William, there, is from the Eunuch party."

Chuckles ran through the crowd. The man with the microphone glowered at him for daring to make fun of this sacred process.

"Mr. Sparrow, if you're elected President, what will you do about the increasing gas prices?" One woman asked.

Jack blinked, unsure of what gas was. "Lower 'em." Pause. "In fact, let people have free gas!"

The man with the microphone perked up at that answer. "Mr. Turner, same question."

Will glanced around. "Um…I guess people could have their gas for free."

"Mr. Turner, what would you do about the war that is currently taking place in Iraq?" A man near the back hollered.

Will paused to consider what the best answer would be, since Jack was forcing him to go long with this whole charade. "I would take the soldiers out of Iraq and put them somewhere they're needed, like in the Caribbean where piracy is a major problem."

Jack shot Will a glare and more chuckles ran through the crowd.

"Mr. Sparrow, what major changed could we expect to see if you were to be elected?"

Jack gave the other man one last glare before clearing his throat. "I would make rum available t' everyone. And saying such, I declare today National Rum Day."

"You can't declare today a holiday," the man with he microphone scowled. "You're only a citizen."

"Hate t' break it to you, mate, but I just did," the pirate replied smoothly.

"Mr. Turner, what could we expect to see when you become president?"

Will paused, again giving this some thought. "Um…well… Like I said, I would let people have gas for free. I would also make sure traders are safe from pirates."

"What are y' bloody tryin' t' do?" Jack questioned, whirling to face his friend, or who he thought was his friend up until this point.

Will shrugged. "Just trying to make some good points. If one of us is going to be president, I want it to be a responsible one."

Jack's hand flew to his pistol, but he did not draw it. The man with the microphone chose this moment to speak. "I think we've had enough of this! I don't know where the candidates are now, but until we find them, I will see to it that this election is postponed! Goodbye, gentlemen."

He got up and strode off the stage. The people out in the audience murmured amongst one another and some began to leave. Soon, the majority of the people followed suit and the room was cleared out except for the two pirates.

"That was…weird," Will stated, looking over to the other pirate. Once again, there was that gleam in Jack's eye that made Will wary. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," Jack replied, quickly scurrying off the stage. Will hurried along behind. The two ran back into the room they had first appeared in and Jack threw open the closet door and smashed both presidential candidates over the head with the butt of his pistol again.

"Jack!" Will exclaimed. "You're going to kill them!"

"Not kill them, William," the other man stated and slammed the door shut again. "Just keep them unconscious until I'm president."

"Hopefully the people of this country would have more sense than to elect you to anything…" Will muttered.

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that," Jack said and strode out the door, making all sorts of plans about what he would do once he was president. The two pirates wandered around in a maze of hallways and other random rooms before meandering outside. Almost immediately, a swarm of women and girls surrounded them, preventing any further progress.

"OHMIGOSH, I LOVE YOU, JACK!!" One woman screamed above the din.

"WILL, YOU'RE THE BEST!!" Another woman shouted.

Suddenly, one woman turned on another. "You think _Will_ is the best?"

"Only because it's true!" She replied, hoisting her purse further up on her shoulder.

A punch was thrown. Then another. And another. Jack and Will backed up against the door in attempt to avoid being hit.

"Ladies!" Jack shouted, ducking to the left to dodge a flying purse. "There's plenty o' William t' go around-"

"Hey!" Will shouted then abruptly stopped as some woman's high heel shoe went flying through the glass door behind him. "I was wondering if that could happen…"

Jack gave the other man a funny look. "Like I was saying, there is plenty o' William t' go around. If ye all form an orderly line, I'm sure he'll be happy t' attend to yer…needs…"

"Jack will too!" Will quickly added, not about to be left alone with his fangirls.

Almost immediately, the two sides separated from one another and two neat lines formed. The girls all flashed smiles at the two pirates.

"William, there's only one thing I can say t' you now," Jack said, keeping his full attention on the group of fangirls.

"And what would that be?" Will asked, giving his friend a sideways glance.

"RUN!" Jack shouted and took off, his arms flailing and hair flying behind him. Will hurried after him with the fan girls close behind.

The two pirates quickly rushed across the street, causing cars to crash into one another to avoid them. Horns were blaring and police sirens started. The fangirls were not daunted by it and continued chasing their favorite pirates. Some women and girls in high heels shed their shoes in order to run even faster.

Will glanced over his shoulder. The women were still there and closing in. He looked back where he was going, but could no longer see Jack. He knew the other man could not run that fast. Right?

"William!" Jack shouted from the side. Will whirled around to see Jack motioning him to hurry and enter the large building which both were in front of. The man obeyed and rushed up the stairs and both flew through the door. Jack, thinking quickly, turned around and managed to figure out how to lock the door just as the large group of fangirls reached it.

Will watched them momentarily as they hit the door with open palms or purses. Or another woman's head. Whichever was closest. The pirate sighed in relief and flopped back onto the carpeted floor beneath him and tried to catch his breath. He closed his eyes momentarily and when he opened them again, Jack was hovering over his head.

"What now?" Will asked, a hint of aggravation in his voice.

"Come on," Jack replied and disappeared from his view. Will reluctantly stood. The only reason now why he was still with this man was to make sure he did not do anything utterly stupid. Like win the presidential race.

The two walked up to a long, marble counter where a girl with brown hair tied back into a ponytail was working. Sensing someone was waiting for her attention, she looked up and said, "May I help…"

Will gave her a puzzled look then realized with horror that she was a fangirl too, but for which man, he was not sure.

The girl's eyes widened and a smile popped onto her face. Then she let out a squeal and bounced up and down in place before quickly covering her mouth and glancing around to see if anyone heard. She uncovered her mouth and whispered, "Are you two…real?"

"'Course I am, love," Jack answered, thinking he could handle one fangirl.

"I saw you two on TV a minute ago," she continued, grinning and pointed to where a small television quietly droned on behind her. "I can't believe you're running for president! Politics were never my thing, but now I like them!"

"That's nice-" Jack began with a little nod.

"If the election isn't called off for those two boring candidates, I'm going to vote for you, Jack!" She interrupted, then quickly added apologetically, "Sorry. _Captain_ Jack."

Jack perked up and looked over to Will. "I like this girl. She remembers m' title."

The girl broke out in a fit of giggles. Will rolled his eyes.

"My name is Savannah," she giggled and stuck out her hand. Both pirates shook it in turn. Then, quickly remembering that she was supposed to rent rooms in the hotel, she added, "Are you guys looking for a room to stay in? I've got two near each other on the eleventh floor."

Jack shrugged. "Why not?"

She quickly began typing several things in her computer then looked up. "What would you like to go by, Captain Sparrow? I've already got Will's name in here."

"She gives you a choice," Will mumbled and crossed his arms. He was beginning to wish he had a fangirl around now too. Maybe Jack's fangirl and his fangirl would get into a fight!

"Put me as Smith, or Smithy, if you like," Jack replied. Sudden memories of when he first arrived at Port Royal flooded his mind.

She giggled again and began to type. Soon, she was finished and handed them a key each. "I'm paying for your rooms, since I'm such a big fan and all. If you need me to, I'll show you where your rooms are."

Will nodded and examined the square piece of plastic that greatly resembled a playing card. How was he supposed to get in his room with this? Did they expect him to pick the lock? "Yes, that would be great."

Savannah put a sign on the counter that said something about using another desk and stepped out from behind the computer and led them to a pair of large steel doors. She pushed a button to its right and waited.

"What might we be doin' now, love?" Jack asked, peering around her at the doors that were not moving.

"We're waiting for the elevator," she replied, then added, "It's a like a big box that carries people from one level of the building to another."

Just then the elevator dinged, signaling that it had reached its destination, and the doors slid open. The girl stepped in, but he two pirates backed away quickly, wide eyed.

"I'm not going in!" Will exclaimed, drawing his sword.

"Me neither!" Jack agreed and copied his friend's actions. "It's 'aunted!"

The doors began to slid shut again, but the girl stuck her hand out and the doors opened. "Oh, come on! I wouldn't take you somewhere that's dangerous!"

"How do we know that?" Will asked suspiciously. "We just met you!"

She sighed. The doors started to close, but did not move more than a few inches due to her hand being in the way. "Just get in, alright? If it was dangerous, I wouldn't be in here."

Jack looked to Will and both sheathed their swords hesitantly. Then, slowly, they entered the elevator. Will got in first, but just as Jack started in, the doors started closing and he leapt back.

"I'm not goin' in!" Jack stated, several feet from the elevator.

Savannah furrowed her brows, grabbed Will's hand and placed it where hers had been only seconds before, and strode over to Jack. She grabbed his arm and began dragging him into the elevator with him shouting and yelling and trying to get people's attention, which worked. Several people stopped what they were doing and watched as the man with dreadlocks got pulled into the elevator. Then everything went quiet when the doors shut.

"I 'ope yer happy," Jack stated indignantly from the farthest corner from the elevator doors. "We're trapped."

"And I hope you're happy!" Will retorted. "You let everybody within five leagues know we're here!"

The girl nodded and leaned against the wall. The elevator began moving. "Yep, pretty much."

Jack eyed them both with a glare and leaned back on the cool wall behind him. Only a few floors up, the doors opened to reveal and elderly couple waiting. Jack quickly started for the door, but Will and the girl grabbed him and pulled him back, but he still blocked the door.

"'Ow is this goin' up did ye say?" Jack asked with a none too subtle glance at the elderly woman's larger than normal thighs.

"By some kind of cable," Savannah answered, pulling at his arm to try to get him to move to let the couple in. "It's like a rope."

Jack smiled apologetically at the couple just as the door began to close and said, "So sorry, there's not enough room in 'ere."

The doors shut and the elevator started its ascent again.

"How could you do that?!" Savannah shouted, clearly embarrassed and hoping it would not be reported. "They needed a ride!"

"Did ye see that woman?" Jack questioned, leaning back against the wall again. "We'd've gone back down!"

"We would not!" She replied indignantly. "This is strong enough to hold us, that elderly couple, and then some!"

"I'd rather be safe in this new floatin' box that ye seem t' set so highly," he stated coolly. Will nodded, for once in agreement.

"Surprisingly enough, that made sense," Will said.

The girl frowned at them both. "Fine, but if I get fired, I blame you."

Jack shrugged, obviously not caring about her employment status. Just about that time, the doors opened again and the girl led the two pirates down a long, carpeted hall. The first room she came to was Jack's, or so she said. Neither pirate could tell a difference in the doors along the hallway other than the fact that they had different numbers, but surely there was a better way to tell than that.

She showed them both how to slid the key into the slot above the door handle and open the door when the light flashed green. After several practices, both were able to perform said action.

"Will, you're room is right here," she said, stepping back and pointing down the hall a couple doors. "I'll make sure you can get in too. But if either of you need anything, I better show you how to use the telephone."

She led them into Jack's room and to a small bedside table where a small white box looking thing set. This, she explained, was the telephone. She showed them how to hold it to their ears and listen and dial the number of whoever they were calling. Then she left the desk number and her cell phone number sitting beside the phone, in case of emergency.

Then with a quick goodnight and good luck in the election to both, she led Will down the hall to his room, gave him a copy of the phone numbers she had left Jack, and left the two alone in the hall.

As soon as she was out of sight, Will said, "Surely you're not serious about this election thing."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jack questioned, perfectly serious.

Will frowned and sighed. "I don't want you messing up this country."

"I wouldn't dream of it, William," the other man replied, turning to his door. "Now if ye'll excuse me, I've got an election t' win."

"Jack!" Will shouted, but the other pirate had already gone in and shut the door behind him. With a sigh, Will did the same. Surely America was smart enough not to elect a person such as Jack Sparrow to any position of power.

--

A/N: Remember, this is all fiction. That's one reason I didn't name the candidates names. But anyway, my other stories are probably all going to be put on hold until this is finished since this is so applicable to nowadays. Please review!


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